A Sense of Rediscovery

There comes a time when you realize how all the pieces have fallen into place. There is a transition of your very being. Old things are not forgotten, but become things of the past. Not even so far to think of the future, but the present, is full of new. While some things happen unexpectedly, it all has a purpose. Sometimes, whether you believe it or not, you need time to see that good will always come out of it.

Lately I have noticed this transition as I am finally letting things be of the past and take on their new role that they're meant to take. I find myself being, well, me again. There's no lingering shadow of what was has appeared to be holding me back in some ways. I find that I have been rediscovering myself and how I think.  There has been a sense of weight being lifted from my shoulders, erasing the constant stress and play on my emotions. It may have taken me months to see it, no matter how quickly I believed myself to have moved forward with change. Sometimes it just takes awhile for the light to shine in your face as it did with me. For once in such a long time, I feel there is honestly optimism and opportunities in every moment. The negative is decreased and I can feel like I can let loose and shake things off. The pieces have started to fall into place, just where they are meant to be. The pieces won't necessarily be perfect for life does not work that way, but yet they always find their place. Sometimes all you need is that walk in the park or down the street, or that standstill moment just thinking.  I have never felt so happy, so content, so at peace of mind, so free. The individual that I am, with [well, for the most part] only the influence of my own person, my own thoughts, my own actions as they allow me to take that next step forward to push through the mess, the madness, the chaos that we all call life.

Life is a game with no rules. You have to just take it as it comes. If you're not happy, make the change for yourself. There is no use in waiting to see if it will occur in some other way. Yet, never change your actual self. It is a matter of growth and of evolution, not change. Change will play a trick of causing you to lose sight of yourself, thus, you lose sight of your life. Every person is their very own individual and once that individual is lost, there won't be another. So catch it as it falters and don't let go. But don't be surprised when you do find yourself faltering. It is only natural for it to happen at some point, whether it is due to the heavily hovering influence of another or a seemingly impossible to defeat obstacle in your way. It simply happens.

I don't regret my own faltering as it has led me to a deeper understanding of my own being. It opened my eyes wider than before as it has given me a new drive, a new sensation, a more in-depth way of thinking. It's another reason to continue to make my life my own.

-The Crunchy Granola Nut

©The Crunchy Granola Nut 

Value Your Ideas

               Pet-peeves are a reflection of our values. Rather, they show our values by highlighting our frustration when a value of ours is threatened. Ever since I can remember, I have had strong feelings about the concept of respect. It is not something that is necessarily given, but is not necessarily earned either. Yes, when respect is given, it should certainly be returned. Yet, going against this idea, I have often noticed throughout my years at schools, adults do not always start with giving respect. They see it as something that has to be earned, and until they see that earning to be fit, they do not give it. It may even be that they see one child act out and then they decide to treat all children the same. What good does that do? For me, that has made me outraged and it would almost seem fitting to disrespect someone that has automatically disrespected me only because of the fact that I am just another child. Respect is something I strongly value. It is something I give to someone until I find some real reason not to. There is never a reason to automatically be rude or inconsiderate.

            Displayed through another pet-peeve, I value optimism. So often I hear or see people being negative. Why? I see it as something that is stunting their life. Sometimes optimism can be over-played or over-done, yet the consequences are more often than not, not as major as the ones resulting from pessimism. Optimism leads to happiness and even to our own well-being. Being pessimistic only leads to more negativity, influencing everything about a person. Their mood, thoughts, actions, and health all become affected in a negative manner. That one cheerful comment instead of another complaint can make a huge difference. It is something simple yet so hard for some. I am lucky enough to be a person to notice the importance of positivity and I make sure as often as possible that it plays a major role in my life. Whether it is sharing the idea of positivity with others in general, or getting someone to change their mindset from feeling down to thinking up, I try to do what I can. Each effort matters and can make a difference. It is when the idea of optimism is lost is when the effort is lost.

            Branching off from the ideas of respect and optimism, I value tolerance. While many people find negativity in their own life, they find the need to bring it to others’ lives. Nowadays, someone cannot say their opinion without being criticized. At times it is good to question others, especially when trying to understand their view and why it may seem logical to them and why it could become logical to us. Yet, there are times when people do not question others but insult their opinion, thinking only theirs are right. An opinion is an opinion for a reason. They are subjective and different for everyone, no matter how like-minded two people may be. Now, more than ever, people are sharing their opinions as impactful changes are happening worldwide. We, as people, need to branch out and be mindful of all those opinions. We have to be open to multiple perspectives and realize that things can be accomplished in more than one way. The importance of respect comes back around with the idea of tolerance. Always living in a cultural diverse place, I have learned how important it is to respect others and to recognize that those other perspectives are always there.

            Beyond the idea of pet-peeves causing a reflection of our own values, our individual actions speak just as loudly. Whenever someone tells me what to do in a condescending way, my stubbornness shines through stronger than ever. In this sense, I have come to realize how much I have continued to value independence and freedom. Advice and help every now and then is important. But, being a young adult, I need to learn some things on my own, using my own way. I don’t want someone to be hovering over me, telling me what to do constantly along the way. I need to learn from my own mistakes, my own actions, my own thoughts, my own words. Most of the time, this can only be accomplished when one is independent. So, freedom is greatly valued. Not many things can be achieved when one is held back and restrained from what life has to offer. We each have our own path on our own journey, and we should treat it as such. 

What do you value?

-The Crunchy Granola Nut

©The Crunchy Granola Nut         

For When Social Psychology Gets Me Thinking

        “Birds of a feather flock together.” Throughout the years this continues to be a well-known proverb. In a way, the literal words can be said for most animals, not just birds. Monkeys of the same species group together and often do not interact with another species. The same species of fish will come together as a school of fish while leaving out another species. We, as humans, intentionally do the same. Yet we divide further than just our own species. We look to others in a search for similarities. It leads to a sort of comfort zone and a way to feel safe and understood. It’s as simple as making friends through extracurricular activities. I have made friends when I used to take dance classes as we had the common interest of dance. I have made friends at design school as we have the common interest of design thinking and some sort of architecture. In some ways it is unintentional. These common interests drive us to unconsciously talk to someone and get to know them. There is an automatic connection that both brings and holds us together. 

It is often said that the parent that you disagree with the most, you are in fact most similar too. If only it was as simple as a correlation between reactions and personalities and vice versa. While being like-minded, the same solution to a problem is often not the case. For an example, my mother and I quite often “butt-heads.” We start with the same idea and opinion but we process the situation differently. This leads to two different outcomes and a disagreement instead of a solution. We often have to agree to disagree as there are times when there is no other solution. This can even go as far as my mother getting frustrated with me for one reason that I think is slightly unnecessary. Then at a different time, I get frustrated with her for the same reason that she was previously frustrated with me. 

Despite what many perceive, this idea goes beyond the relationships of friendships and family members, and any other kind of relationship that we value. It leans towards the idea of keeping your friends close but your enemies closer. It shows why in fact, that saying is harder to accomplish than we believe it to be. Yes, we can all agree that we have similarities when compared to our friends. Yet, we do have our differences. It would not be bearable, for some, to be with someone extremely similar to yourself often, for example, our enemies. These are the people that we dislike, maybe even despise. They are the people we try to avoid, whether it’s not wanting to hear them or even just not wanting to see them. These are the people, surprisingly, that we are most similar too. We may think the same, act the same, have many of the same interests, and have many of the same likes and dislikes. This is what causes the “butting-heads,” arguments, and avoidance. This is where the need for space, no, a need for difference comes into play. 

But yet, is this a result of feeling like our uniqueness has suddenly been taken away or the idea that these similarities are in fact the “bad” qualities of ourselves that we are seeing in others? Yes, I can admit it. There are certainly some qualities of myself that I do not like and I wish were different. Some can change over time with effort but some I seem to be stuck with no matter what, such as anxiety. Yes, there are very good coping methods, but this trait will never fully go away. While I’m wishing that these qualities could change, whether it’s possible or not, I notice the exact same qualities in others. Most times it is frustrating. If I’m trying or at least thinking about changing, why is that person still like that? Are they trying or do they see it as a “good” quality? In my struggle, even how slight it may be, they appear to be doing just fine with how they are. It’s those slight reminders of our “bad” qualities that really get to us. 

Or, like I mentioned, it can go beyond this. In this world today, while so many are striving for uniqueness, it comes as a rarity. Sometimes it can be unexpected to see a certain trait of ourselves in the personality of another. Despite often being told that assumptions are never good, we can all hold ourselves to that fault. People, including myself, may accidentally assume that a certain trait is possible for our own personality and no one else’s. As soon as that statement is put into question, it’s as if our distinctive characteristics are put into question of being our own. 

Even when it’s not a trait and something that is more in our control such as our words or actions, similarity can create frustration. When someone else uses our words or replicates our “look,” we don’t realize that it is often done out of flattery and appreciation. We see it as a way that someone is taking our individualism away from us and making it into their own. As a result, we distance ourselves from these people and do not allow them into our “flock.”

Noticing the similarities between ourselves and others will create both solutions and problems. The outcome solely depends on your perspective on the situation.

-The Crunchy Granola Nut

©The Crunchy Granola Nut

Food for Thought

Food for Thought

Food for Thought

For Happiness

Changes are as predictable as they are unpredictable. We never exactly know what something will change into. We don't know if something will change into something completely different, or it may only evolve into something slightly different. What we do know, changes are bound to happen no matter what. It's a way of life.

Recently, I've gone through quite a few changes, with most of them being big changes. Some I expected in some way in some form, others I subconsciously expected. Some were automatically deemed as good while others were first deemed as a hardship. But, that all depends on how you look at them. Life is full of obstacles, why let one change stop you?

Change makes room for opportunities. Yes, some opportunities we are lucky enough to be given more than once. More often than not, they're not. We have to take them as they come to us. Life is about risk. That first step was a risk, wasn't it? It's interesting how willing infants and toddlers are to take risks while adults are so stubborn not to. Is this where we let anxiety get to us? Our minds making up scenarios upon scenarios in our heads as to how a situation could go wrong? Do we forget about all the things that can go right? Usually, there will be more right than wrong. We just have grown blind to it.

We let the idea of anxiousness get to us and then let fear take over. What kind of life is that? Let me put it clearly, there's no risks in that kind of life. As one of my favorite fortune cookies has said, "Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment." It should be clear to us that infants don't need that attitude adjustment. It's all us grown adults that do.

Look at it this way, by taking risks, infants are constantly learning and letting their minds grow. In the end, taking risks in life is the same as taking a risk on that pb & j sandwich of yours. Maybe it's time to try strawberry jelly instead of grape jelly, or vice versa. Mistakes are bound to happen, but that's how we learn. That's how we grow and develop our personality and even our own well-being.

Each of us is given strictly one life. Why waste it away? For all of you that say you need to live life to its fullest, risks are involved. Make the best out of it. Find that comfort zone and cross it. Embrace the changes that are out of your control, and even the ones that are within your grasp. Live the way life should be lived.

-The Crunchy Granola Nut

©The Crunchy Granola Nut